![]() -After years of high living as a degenerate wannabe tennis phenom, the artist now known as Richid reportedly keeled over in the organic vegetable aisle of the Southhampton WholeFoods, as he was reaching for some particularly fulsome radishes. it was a HEART-ATTACK: the worst kind of widow-maker, he had only moments to live. The Whole world stopped for for what seemed like seconds, the silence broken only by the solemn incantation: "CLEAN-UP in ORG-VEG , CLEAN-UP in ORG-VEG, bring a mop. The Art World too, came to twittering hush as as the artist now known as Richid was carted-off (literally, they used a shopping cart) to the nearby clinic of Dr. Robert DeBakie - not the renowned heart specialist..., his nephew Bobbie De, the cosmetic surgeon made famous in some circles by his innovative "Trump-Stump Extension" method. "I think maybe we should do something about his heart before we attempt a TSE" said the ExtenderMeister. "I mean I can see why he's anxious to do this, but we're going to need blood-flow, plenty of blood-flow and for that we need, you know, like a beating heart, " the brilliant medical genius intuited. The artist now know as Richid was bundled into an Amazon "last mile" delivery van and transferred to Covid Island Jewish for "assessment" and "sitting". Horror turned to delight, and then disappointment, and then a mild sort of "yeah that figures" as the condition of the ARTstar waxed and waned and waxed again in the anxious hours that followed. "Oh my gosh, how unfortunate," said longtime fashion superstar Naiomi Campell. "His paintings could be worth a fortune depending on how this turns out," noted sometime collector Billie Jean King." "If Her Majesty Queen Elisabeth II kicks, that'll make three" observed record promoter Dick Clark, now long dead. "Bobbie De is the guy to see" added longtime Trump-Sucker, Rev. Mike Huckabee. "Should I sell now, or hold for better news?" mused savvy show-biz ultra-super-legend Madonna. All eyes now turn to super-hot Jersey City and the OUTLANDER GALLERY, where noted local accountant Dick Iscard will be hosting a reception for the ailing ARTstar The Gallery Opening is set for Saturday, January 8, 2022... you know... depending...
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"From the school of..." will do. "In the style of..." is fine. "After..." is just as real. Unlike horseshoes, in Art - especially painting - close is a score. Look, if you will, at Susannah at her bath (c. 1555) by Jacopo Robusti (known as Tintoretto) (1518-1594) now valued for insurance purposes at $5 million. (A lesser Tintoretto was sold by Christies on 9 July 2008 for $199,882.) Now consider a painting or two by artists who imitated Tintoretto, e,g., Andrea Zucchi (1679-1740) Jacob's ladder "after Tintoretto" [$65,981], or Silvestre Maniago (1518-1594) Column of Fire "after Tintoretto" [est. $38,000]. Would you mind owning either?
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AuthorAvery G. Husband is an artist, an abstract expressionist, and a rabid capitalist: Buy Something and Be Someone. ArchivesCategories |